Ode to the Hockey Parent

I had to miss the last few days of posts because of a family emergency.  My father ended up in the hospital and was seriously ill.  Fortunately, everything is okay and he is feeling much better than before, hopefully being able to leave the hospital in a few days.  He's 3.5 hours away and as much as I wanted to stay there with him, there was no way financially and logistically this could happen.  But I'm assured that he is okay and my thoughts stay with him until he returns home.

So while this all happened, and the seriousness of his illness was unknown, I spent a lot of time reflecting about my father.  I wanted to do a post about Kovalchuk, or Seguin, or some of the other events going on in hockey, but I feel that making this post is more important to me right now, and I hope anyone who reads this can respect that.

My dad and I can't be compared to Walter and Wayne, or Bobby and Brett, or Gordie, Mark and Marty, or so on. I, of course, never came close to seeing the spotlight in the NHL.  But for every player that plays in the NHL, hundreds of thousands (if not millions) of players play to pursue their dreams and never make it, or stay at lower levels, or play until life puts the on another path.  For every one of those players, theres a hockey parent, or two, or however many, to support them.  That support equals to thousands of kilometres (or miles) of travel to get to where the games are, a staggering amount of money spent for equipment, registration, travel, hotels, etc, and having to deal with players' injuries, attitudes, and problems, all while trying to keep their head above water in school and other activities.  The amount of time, money, and effort involved in being a hockey parent is enormous, and its something most players take for granted, myself included.

My dad put me into hockey a little later than most of my friends, because, at the time, skiing was my passion, as was his.  When I decided at age 6 to play hockey, that meant no more skiing for the both of us.  That alone was a huge sacrifice, as my dad always loved to ski and used to race competitively himself, and apparently (although I don't remember much) I had potential myself.

So I got into hockey, and needed all new equipment, and got put in lots of hockey and skating camps to try to catch up to my age group.  This meant lots of travel for my mom, dad, and sisters.

After a few years, after sticking with it for a few years, my dad decided to build an outdoor ice rink in my grandmother's yard for me to skate on.  The rink was a pain to build, as the yard was sloped and always got ravaged by snow, but through time and hard work it always turned out.  This became a yearly tradition, even after we moved into the house with our grandmother.  At first, I was too little to really help with the rink, but as the years went on it became more of a father-son project that we worked on together.  Some of my fondest memories of me and my dad were building the rink, and as much as I loved skating on our own homemade rink, I swear building it with him was the best part.  My mother and grandmother would supervise while my friends and I would skate on it, and one year we had a birthday party of 20+ kids playing hockey on it.  But still, the cold nights hosing down the ice with my dad are what I remember most.

Then, without going into much detail, it became just my dad, my sisters, and I at the house.  Money became tight, and my dad had to keep working full-time while we managed school, hockey, and my sisters' various clubs.  My sisters and I strived at school, as education has always been most important.  But there was lots of stress thrown at me at such a young age, and hockey was my way out.  I had to take care of my sisters part time while trying to do school and keep up with hockey, with limited success.  I became emotionally and physically exhausted, my marks had frequent hiccups, got bullied at school for not having much of a social life, and my dedication to hockey was questioned because I couldn't make all of the practices and games, and could barely keep up with my equipment.  It was tough.  My dad worked long hours and tried his best to get to where we wanted, sometimes having no time off for himself.  Money stayed tight most of the year, but we all did what we could.  Sometimes I had to walk across town, hockey bag and all, to catch my practices, just to give my dad a break.  It was around this time when I realized I took hockey for granted, and it wasn't a right, but a privilege to play it, and I had my dad to thank for all of his hard work keeping me in it all those years.

After a few years, my dad found his now fiancee, and she stepped in to help whenever she could, travelling to far tournaments whenever he couldn't, helping carpool teammates to practice, and helping me through most of my injuries and concussions.  I can honestly say without her, I'd be physically in huge trouble even to this day.  Both her and my dad kept supporting me through hockey right up to my final year, while dealing through some questionable coaches, injuries, some bad attitudes of mine at times, and getting my sisters to their own activities. I did anything I could to help them, but most of the burden was on them, so I could enjoy the game of hockey.

They really don't get enough credit for me being able to play hockey through the years, and the sacrifices they had to deal with in order to keep me in it.  And I speak as though my parents are the best hockey parents out there, but there are thousands or even millions of parents out there who would do the same for their son or daughter, for any sport.  I would be the first to tell you hockey is the greatest game out there, but the sacrifices involved in most youth sports are about the same.  Kids and youth get to play the sports they love because of the parents supporting them.  Sometimes theres 2 parents, sometimes more with aunts and uncles and grandparents helping often, sometimes theres only 1 parent, sometimes theres no parent, but someone else helping to get them to their practices and games.  No matter what each player's situation, the family of hockey is strong, and the parents of that family are vital for the game to survive.

I haven't thought about children myself yet, and I don't want to for quite some time yet.  But when/if that time does come, I would really love to give them the gift of sport, and give them all of the support I possibly can.  I'd love to be a hockey dad, but if they want to play basketball, or football, or swimming, or whatever else their heart desires, I'd love to be there for them and give them as much support as my parents gave me.  Even if it's not a sport, maybe its Scouts/Guides, or being a musician, or anything that drives them to learn and have fun.  My time in hockey was really the best time of my life, and having something in my life to drive me was so important to my development.  I just wish I could give the same to any of my future children. (But like I said, not planning any of that any time soon.)

So to the hockey parents, parents of all youth sports, and especially my parents, I need to tell you something that you don't get told nearly enough: Thank you.

Get well soon Dad.